Monday, March 21, 2011

Snow and tears

It is so difficult for me to try to be positive after a few really nice days followed by snow and a forecast for another cold week. My husband and I talk about getting out of here a lot, and he wants to go so he could hike when he wanted to, so it's not just me. The boys love it here, but I think once they got past the transition they would both be just fine. Where is that perfect place??? The summers are close to perfect up here. They get hot, but the nights are cooler. I really do love that time of year up here even though the area it's self is so depressed. We don't do much outside of our yard anyway...yes, that is problem. The killer is though that nice weather lasts maybe 4 months it seems.

Last frost isn't until close to the end of May and with such a short growing season it's very hard to grow enough food for a family of 6. It's not just the gardening, but I need to see sunshine. I've always gotten a bad case of self diagnosed S.A.D. in the winter. That's one reason I swore I'd never live up this way again. What was I thinking????  My husband would like to try out Seattle, and I'd go. I just wonder about the lack of sunshine out there. It won't be as cold though. If I had a magic wand we would be in Colorado or North Carolina again. I loved Colorado and in my heart I feel as though it is home, but he likes to go more with what he knows and if that means N.C. then I'm fine with that too. Hiking wise, I think Colorado offers a heavenly array of opportunities, but in N.C. he used to hike about all year and loved it. I might be able to have a better garden in N.C..

I'm done complaining. I just really need to make some changes in my life and I don't know where to start. Balance...I need balance. I'm going to a job fair today to see if I could be an Adjunct Instructor at the community college. I would love to find something where I could use my mind in the evening hours and still be home with my babies during the day. My husband would have more diaper duty, but he's good at that. Maybe I'd be happier with an outlet out side of my little island.  Wish me luck:)